PC Review: Zombeer

Sugar, spice and everything nice.

Sugar, spice and everything nice.

By: Ted Chow

Mix a zombie outbreak with a dash of parody and a first-person perspective and you got yourself Zombeer. While the idea of zombies has been done to death in far too many entertainment mediums, Zombeer tries to offer some laughs with recognizable tropes and alcoholic consumption, but the game ends up tasting a bit flat. With an M rating under the ESRB and various titillating fan-serviceable scenes, the game is geared toward those that have a predilection for mindless zombie killing and occasional sexual implications.

CONTROLS (3.25/5)

If you’re accustomed to playing various first-person games you’ll likely find the controls to be a mirror mimic to the established norm. While the game doesn’t have any standout control schematics, it is worth noting that movement and combat can feel a bit flat and one-dimensional. Weapons lack variety and oomph, and general movement is rather uninspired and generic.

You will also feel a bit weightless as you kite around zombies, and the game’s hit-box and radius can be deceivingly small as you essentially have to get into the enemy’s face to smack them with your purple dildo.


Zombeer is rather light hearted when it came to its color palette and overall stylized look. That stylization does help maintain the mood and general comedic antics that the game throws your way. The environment itself is rather dreary, as the majority of your play experience is within tight school corridors with occasional large rooms to break up the modular monotony.

The soundtrack is a mix of various themes from rock music to what I would swear is something from the Spice Girls. There are also some sound issues that can go off at random times where things become amplified beyond your sound settings.


You take on the role of K, a college failure and deadbeat that likes to drink Zombeer to stay human and get wasted. Excluding any logical sense as to why the beer prevents you from turning, or the fact that it is so prevalent within the game yet NPCs don’t drink it to stay human, you will monitor your zombification by drinking the green goo.

Drink too much and you will pass out, but if you don’t drink when critical, you’ll turn into a zombie and die. The story is also rather simplistic in that you are out to save your girlfriend from the evil school chancellor and turn everyone back to normal.

Zombeer is a first-person, survival horror comedy shooter — say THAT 10 times fast. And as such, you will kill hordes of teenage zombies with your nail gun and trusty purple dildo. If you’re getting the Saint’s Row vibe with that purple dildo, you’re not alone.

Surprisingly, you’ll be using that dildo for much of the game as weapons are limited in variety and usefulness at times. Guns can help when you want to kite multiple zombies chasing you around, but the middling accuracy and amount of bullets needed to kill the undead can render them rather obsolete.

The animations and particle effects for these guns are also bland and lack the oomph of satisfaction when you kill zombies with them. In all honesty, I’d rather stick with the purple dildo and the obstructive headshot text that pops up.

Much of the gameplay will have you running around the school as K, trying to accomplish small goals in order to open up new areas. There is a lot of back tracking that takes place since there aren’t any good mini-maps to follow or other hand-holding devices to help you move onto your next destination.

Zombie varieties are systematically introduced as you progress, but the same tactics are applied in order to dispose of them. Eventually, the game will start to become stale as combat and exploration continues the same rhythm without enough diversions.

Extending the game’s play life can be hard without any multiplayer or co-op with friends. Achievements and in-game collectables are the only form of replayability, aside from the standard increase in difficulty. Even then the game doesn’t throw enough new mechanics or goals into the mix to warrant additional playthroughs.

OVERALL (2.75/5)

Aside from referencing popular franchises such as the Simpsons or other relatable media, Zombeer is your generic mind numbing, zombie-killing affair. The lack of interesting game mechanics and overall brevity of the experience leaves Zombeer to fall by the wayside. While I did get some chuckles here and there from some relatable parodies, the overall core of the game was rather lacking and uninspired.


About Herija Green

Avid gamer, adventurous lover and all-around damned handsome man...
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